Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Once upon a time in Tepic Mexico there lived a beautiful girl -we’ll call her Monica Liliana Heurta Garcia for short! She loved dancing, tacos and all things spicy and one day wanted to grow up and be my sister-in-law! Smart girl! Boy was she in for a treat. She met a boy…a missionary actually, who would one day sweep her off her feet and ask her to be his wife. She obliged, said her “Adios’s” and found herself living in Gilbert Arizona as the newest member of the Smith clan.

We were a strange bunch -we like our bananas yellow, eat dinner before midnight and we always chuckled when she called Roxy (the family dog) because she would say it more like this “RRRRRROXY”, with the thick roll of the R. But, somehow we managed to persuade her to stick it out. Flash-forward two years and we (the whole family) got so spend two weeks sampling life as it were in Mexico. I was looking so forward to food, fun and relaxation for 10 whole days. No stress, no worries… Us seven Gringos (Tyler, Moni and Sofia had were already there) began our journey in the wee early morning hours immediately following Christmas day. Before the sun came up we were on our way to Mexico City via plane where we had a lay-over until we reached Guadalajara. I decided I would impress her family with my amazing bilingual abilities and memorize some Spanish phrases from a magazine I skimmed through on the plane. By the time I put the magazine down all I could remember was “Tortuga” which means turtle. Could come in handy, right? This is the extent of our Mexico City stay.

The airport was filled with stores just like this! Super Tiny!

And yes, we ate at Carl’s Junior. It was dark and a bit chillier than expected when we finally reached Guadalajara. Note to self: never solicit Tyler about weather-appropriate attire. But, I must admit, knowing we were finally in the company of our resident translator was a relief. I was also relieved to know there would be a comfortable bed and some churros in my near future. Let’s just say that ‘near’ and ‘soon’ and ‘shortly’ were terms used very loosely over following ten days! Perhaps the meanings were ‘lost in translation’. I thought ‘home’ was just a short jaunt from the airport, but it was preceded by a short trip around the city to the bus station because some of us had to travel by bus (mom, dad, Chuey) and the rest of us by car.

Finally, we were on our way to a bed and churros…a not- so-short 2 hours later we arrived at what appeared to be the middle of a little city, but was actually the home of Monica’s family and where she grew up. They greeted us with warm smiles and lots of hugs – James, Jared, Joshua and Ethan didn’t really know what to think of all of it!

The white building is the side of their home.

It was fantastic being able to finally meet the family that helped shaped Monica into the amazing person that we know and love. Her dad even learned a phrase in English just for the occasion: “take it easy”, but when he says it, it sounds more like “kikit easy”. It’s hilarious! By this time it had been at least 24 hours since any of us had a decent meal, my parents were still en route (hopefully) and I still had yet to see my final resting place for the night- after all, this was my vacation, Right?

After many tongue-tied attempts to communicate with my new-found Mexican comrades I finally resorted to putting “O” at the end of every English word. So, airplane became airplane-o, Gilbert became Gilbert-o and taco…well that just stayed the same because some things don’t change. Tyler and Monica tried to interpret but they were busy trying to find the rest of the Gringos and get us settled in. Still no bed, no churros and lots of pointing to things to try and get my point across. It really would be easier if we all just spoke English! James even tried his Japanese on them to see if that would work. No comprende...

Anyway, the rest of the Gringos finally arrived, there were more hugs and smiles and more family showed up, which meant more people I couldn’t talk with. But, alas, the food did come! We ate shrimp, pork and chicken tamales prepared by the Heurta-Garcia women and devoured by me. We also tried a Mexican version of hot chocolate- I think I’ll stick to Swiss Miss! Then they brought out the Karaoke. Cue-Gringo exit.

Now, it was off to the Hotel. Tyler, Moni and Sofia stayed with her family while the rest of us lodged at the Hotel Bugam-Villas (pronounced BoogamBilllias). The rooms were peculiarly larger than the standard hotel room. What they lacked in amenities I guess they figured they made up in space! The beds were rock hard, the pillows paper thin, there was a drain in the middle of the bathroom, and when we requested more pillows they brought us a towel. Awesome!
This was in the shower. Dual purpose perhaps?

Despite our circumstances, we all fell fast asleep and even slept in the next morning. When in Rome...

Welcome back Kotter!

I do suppose it has formally “beenawhile” since we last spoke. Since my last post, circa 2008, the weather was still in the 80’s, I was swamped with perpetual grading, and the economy reeked of an impending socialist regime. Well, it looks as though not much has changed. Today I find myself sporting the flip-flops, adding to my “must be graded asap” piles (yes that’s plural) and just read that Citibank stock has dropped to less than the cost of a pack of gum. In my modest efforts to play catch-up here’s a summary of that latter part of 2008.

James and I scored this mammoth-sized hunk of desk for a mere 25 bones. After hours and hours of sanding and a new stain it now serves as our "clutter holder" and could presumably double as a bomb shelter.

Not truly eventful, but I was home alone one night (or so I thought), and came across this sucker on the wall. I left it be and ventured over to my brother/sister-in law’s place to wait it out. It has yet to resurface…

Perhaps that's what prompted this: a little house of our very own! After months and months of offers and searching, we found the match made in heaven! We were so fortunate to work with some remarkable and uber patient realtors and lenders during our 8 month home pursuit. We still have some work to do, but I’ll be sure and post some more exciting pics later.

It came complete with red stains on the carpet IN EVERY ROOM (we're thinking either kool-aid or wine), crayon on the wall, and weeds for a backyard. We painted the kitched red, compliments of the "Oops" paint section at Lowes!

One of the bedrooms was painted in a hue of pink that can only be described as Lisa Frank meets Liberace doused in pepto-bismol. It was horrendous. Now it's taupe, not too exciting, but at least we can still maintain our sanity.
One of our least favorite home-owner duties.

We bid adeu to our floral couches.

James brought me beautiful flowers for no apparent reason. I think my existence is reason enough, don't you?

Jared returned from his mission in Virginia. My mom hasn't had a decent night's sleep since.

James built a ladder one day. What a handy-man! The verdict is still out on the perfect place for it...

I got to make the pies for Thanksgiving. They turned out, no one died, and I didn't take any leftovers home. Can we deem that a success?

We ended the year with a family-fun-filled trip to Mexico. (I bet some of us could add a few more "f words" to that title). Our trip to Mexico was nothing short of unforgettable. I'll leave you with the abridged version for now: planes, buses, and automobiles, fresh tacos, gay beaches, Pizza Hut and tow trucks.

Until next time...