Once Upon A Time In Mexico

Once upon a time in Tepic Mexico there lived a beautiful girl -we’ll call her Monica Liliana Heurta Garcia for short! She loved dancing, tacos and all things spicy and one day wanted to grow up and be my sister-in-law! Smart girl! Boy was she in for a treat. She met a boy…a missionary actually, who would one day sweep her off her feet and ask her to be his wife. She obliged, said her “Adios’s” and found herself living in Gilbert Arizona as the newest member of the Smith clan.

We were a strange bunch -we like our bananas yellow, eat dinner before midnight and we always chuckled when she called Roxy (the family dog) because she would say it more like this “RRRRRROXY”, with the thick roll of the R. But, somehow we managed to persuade her to stick it out. Flash-forward two years and we (the whole family) got so spend two weeks sampling life as it were in Mexico. I was looking so forward to food, fun and relaxation for 10 whole days. No stress, no worries… Us seven Gringos (Tyler, Moni and Sofia had were already there) began our journey in the wee early morning hours immediately following Christmas day. Before the sun came up we were on our way to Mexico City via plane where we had a lay-over until we reached Guadalajara. I decided I would impress her family with my amazing bilingual abilities and memorize some Spanish phrases from a magazine I skimmed through on the plane. By the time I put the magazine down all I could remember was “Tortuga” which means turtle. Could come in handy, right? This is the extent of our Mexico City stay.

The airport was filled with stores just like this! Super Tiny!

And yes, we ate at Carl’s Junior. It was dark and a bit chillier than expected when we finally reached Guadalajara. Note to self: never solicit Tyler about weather-appropriate attire. But, I must admit, knowing we were finally in the company of our resident translator was a relief. I was also relieved to know there would be a comfortable bed and some churros in my near future. Let’s just say that ‘near’ and ‘soon’ and ‘shortly’ were terms used very loosely over following ten days! Perhaps the meanings were ‘lost in translation’. I thought ‘home’ was just a short jaunt from the airport, but it was preceded by a short trip around the city to the bus station because some of us had to travel by bus (mom, dad, Chuey) and the rest of us by car.

Finally, we were on our way to a bed and churros…a not- so-short 2 hours later we arrived at what appeared to be the middle of a little city, but was actually the home of Monica’s family and where she grew up. They greeted us with warm smiles and lots of hugs – James, Jared, Joshua and Ethan didn’t really know what to think of all of it!

The white building is the side of their home.

It was fantastic being able to finally meet the family that helped shaped Monica into the amazing person that we know and love. Her dad even learned a phrase in English just for the occasion: “take it easy”, but when he says it, it sounds more like “kikit easy”. It’s hilarious! By this time it had been at least 24 hours since any of us had a decent meal, my parents were still en route (hopefully) and I still had yet to see my final resting place for the night- after all, this was my vacation, Right?

After many tongue-tied attempts to communicate with my new-found Mexican comrades I finally resorted to putting “O” at the end of every English word. So, airplane became airplane-o, Gilbert became Gilbert-o and taco…well that just stayed the same because some things don’t change. Tyler and Monica tried to interpret but they were busy trying to find the rest of the Gringos and get us settled in. Still no bed, no churros and lots of pointing to things to try and get my point across. It really would be easier if we all just spoke English! James even tried his Japanese on them to see if that would work. No comprende...

Anyway, the rest of the Gringos finally arrived, there were more hugs and smiles and more family showed up, which meant more people I couldn’t talk with. But, alas, the food did come! We ate shrimp, pork and chicken tamales prepared by the Heurta-Garcia women and devoured by me. We also tried a Mexican version of hot chocolate- I think I’ll stick to Swiss Miss! Then they brought out the Karaoke. Cue-Gringo exit.

Now, it was off to the Hotel. Tyler, Moni and Sofia stayed with her family while the rest of us lodged at the Hotel Bugam-Villas (pronounced BoogamBilllias). The rooms were peculiarly larger than the standard hotel room. What they lacked in amenities I guess they figured they made up in space! The beds were rock hard, the pillows paper thin, there was a drain in the middle of the bathroom, and when we requested more pillows they brought us a towel. Awesome!
This was in the shower. Dual purpose perhaps?

Despite our circumstances, we all fell fast asleep and even slept in the next morning. When in Rome...