Dear Planet Earth:
Throughout the month of October, and spilling into November we have at least 2 birthdays’s a week. Let me specify- I’m only talking about FAMILY birthday celebrations- immediate family, to be more precise. Using my remarkable calculatory skills coupled with my extensive calculus background I was able to deduce that October births resulted from February conceptions. Fulfilling New Year’s resolutions, perhaps? Strong adherence to Valentine’s Day? Wintery weather makes us randy? Whatever the case may be, my family has been getting frisky in February for generations. Here is the breakdown: 3 nieces, 2 nephews, 1 dad, 1 brother-in-law, 1 mom, 3 sister-in-laws, 1 husband and a partridge in a pear tree! Subsequently, to avoid future entropic pandemonium and further depletion of my 401K I am publicly declaring that February be decreed Abstinence Month. Sorry, Black History cohorts, you’re going to have to find another month to complain about the Man.
Sincerely,
CEO, CFO and founder of February is the new Abstinence Month
p.s. Please leave MLK alone, I have a dentist appointment that day.
Throughout the month of October, and spilling into November we have at least 2 birthdays’s a week. Let me specify- I’m only talking about FAMILY birthday celebrations- immediate family, to be more precise. Using my remarkable calculatory skills coupled with my extensive calculus background I was able to deduce that October births resulted from February conceptions. Fulfilling New Year’s resolutions, perhaps? Strong adherence to Valentine’s Day? Wintery weather makes us randy? Whatever the case may be, my family has been getting frisky in February for generations. Here is the breakdown: 3 nieces, 2 nephews, 1 dad, 1 brother-in-law, 1 mom, 3 sister-in-laws, 1 husband and a partridge in a pear tree! Subsequently, to avoid future entropic pandemonium and further depletion of my 401K I am publicly declaring that February be decreed Abstinence Month. Sorry, Black History cohorts, you’re going to have to find another month to complain about the Man.
Sincerely,
CEO, CFO and founder of February is the new Abstinence Month
p.s. Please leave MLK alone, I have a dentist appointment that day.
My retirement- wrapped in pretty packages and bows!
1 comment:
Hahahahaha that is so funny cause October is the biggest birthday month in my family too...never connected the dots myself! Too funny. It was so fun to see you at the shower. Wish we could get together more!
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