Where's The Pause Button On This Thing?

Slow down, you’re movin’ too fast! I have recently felt that my time continuum has experienced an abrupt shock, like when you see the sudden spike in an EKG monitor thingy and it starts with that incessant beeping. It won’t stop unless you unplug the dang thing. Or, when you accidentally spill orange soda on your remote control and the fast forward button is permanently lodged in the affirmative position, and then only catch every 3rd scene of the movie. Or when you doze off in sacrament meeting and wake up and it’s Thursday, but you only thought you were drifting in and out of consciousness for the rest hymn. It is called a rest hymn, correct?

Anyway, that’s how I feel. Last time I checked I was 5 and happy meals still came in those cute cardboard carriers, with a toy that undoubtedly contained lead and was made in China but was never recalled. Now, it’s a half past November, and tomorrow is practically New Years. I don’t have time for this fast forward nonsense. P.S, did I mention that 2010 has nigh left us?

Moments and events lately seem to escape my mind, and some even seem to be running in tandem. For instance, did I really survive the 1st and 2nd quarter, and already 2 weeks into the 3rd quarter? Have we almost made it past electron configurations and quantum mechanics? Have I really graded 170 individual lab reports, entered the scores, and handed them back one by one after an intimate one-on-one discussion about each student’s progress? Have I really taken multiple trips to phoenix Children’s hospital to spend time and comfort friends and family there? Did I really have a fall break, and go to Disneyland where I ran into one of my current students at the hotel? Have we already celebrated 8 family birthdays’ this month? Did I actually complete our Halloween party invitations and get them mailed off prior to Halloween? Did I actually make it to the post office and mail a package to Joshua? Have we actually reseeded our lawn and planted fall/winter flowers and not forgotten to water them? Did I actually try and attempt to be on time to a relief society activity, only to find out the location had been changed, and the start time was 6:30 instead of what I assumed (7:00), and the chocolate chips I just ran to the store to purchase were no longer needed, but my help was appreciated? Did I really go to Denny’s at midnight this past Friday to celebrate one of my favorite laurel’s birthday’s and eat a chocolate shake and some deep-fried pancake balls only to wake up at 6 am the next morning to help out with a benefit garage sale/bake sale/boutique, and then spend the afternoon scouring thrift stores for Halloween costumes, and then spend the evening doing laundry and making more birthday gifts? Did I actually make 4 separate round-trips to our church building today, all before 1 pm? Is it really 11pm on a Sunday night, when I should have been in bed 2 hours ago because I know, as well as my students do, that grumpiness will certainly ensue, and exponentially increase the longer I am awake.

Seriously, how? When? In what dimension do I accomplish all of the above and also have time to make dinner, go to the gym and spend some time on the million other things on my “to do” list? The above may seem like a long “to done” list, but my “to do” would put the aforementioned list to shame. So, what’s the solution? I want to enjoy all of the above, but still have time to exhale, and then inhale, and then repeat a few more times. Where’s the line between running your mind and body into the ground versus letting your mind and body rot of lethargy? And I don’t even have ankle biters yet either! Sometimes I think the only viable option lies in one of the shortest words in virtually every language: NO! If my mouth could but learn to form that particular sound, I may not be in a sate of constant crisis management. It also doesn’t help that I’m a bit of a perfectionist parading as a procrastinator, or is it the other way around? Hmm, what do you think? Well, it’s even later still, and I’ve really got to get some shut eye. Keep an eye out for that pause button for me, will ya?

p.s. The part about finishing the 170 lab reports is a slight fabrication. I’m not as done as I may have previously professed. In fact, they are weighing my soul down! We’ve been everywhere together- to church, to family dinners, even to Disneyland in hopes that I may have a spare moment to get some grading done. And also, the part about having an intimate one-on-one with each and every students total crap. If I even attempted that with 170 students... Don't even get me started on my class size. Anyway, back to my point :New deal- no more blogging until lab reports are graded. Pinky promise.