We Need a STAY-cation

We just returned from an alleged vacation to California. I say alleged because by definition this is what a vacation is:

Vacation: A period of time devoted to pleasure, rest, or relaxation/Leisure time away from work devoted to rest or pleasure.

We were in violation of every part of that description. Here’s a synopsis:

Leave for Disneyland at 2am on Tuesday, drive 6 hrs, play at Disneyland, play at California Adventure, play more at Disneyland, head back to car to eat lunch/dinner, walk back to park, play some more, walk back to car, notice huge slice in front left tire, contact tire place, drive to hotel, sleep for 6 hours, spend morning getting tire fixed, drive 1.5 hrs to Valencia, play at Six Flags, convince James to ride on Goliath, play evil mind tricks on him while on roller coaster, wait 1.5 hrs in line for X2, chew out girls for trying to cut in line, point and laugh as they make their way back in line, watch James try and strap himself into seat as tight as he can, ride X2 and realize it is scary wicked fun, want to do it again, leave six flags, drive 6 hours to Sacramento area, arrive at 12:30am, pass out for 7 hours on Lisa and Rocky’s couch, play with nieces and nephews next morning, send James and boys off to golf in Napa Valley for 6 hours, spend 2 hours in Sam’s Club and 3 in Target with sis-in-laws, mom-in-law and their offspring, shop for 3 hours (not enough time), score really cute striped pencil skirt for 5 bucks, sleep for 4 hours, following morning send James and boys off to golf at 4:30 am, can’t really fall back to sleep due to solar lights glaring me in the face, spend morning with nieces and nephews using me as a jungle-jim, Visit Jelly Belly Factory, drive to Sacramento to visit G’ma Martin and party, eat, have awkward conversation with family I have never met/may never see again, say “hi” to G’ma, realize she’s got to go to the hospital, cut party short, head back to Vacaville, hit up shops again, watch Transformers, whisper to James about how Megan Fox forgot her bra and decipticons aren’t supposed to look like people-that’s Terminator and someone should tell Michael Bay that that movie’s been done at least 4 times already, get to sleep at 1:30am, wake up at 5 am to pack up car again, spend 30 minutes trying to divert bird that flew in the house back outside, drive an hour to San Francisco, watch seals at pier 39, head to Alcatraz, watch park ranger yell at tourists who are getting ahead of the group, spend time at Fisherman’s Wharf, pay way too much for a pretzel, eat clam chowder in bread bowl, hit up Ghirardelli square, get raked over the coals by San Fran prices, spend next 3 hours in China Town where stuff seems more authentic b/c it was actually made in China, finally head home around 7:30pm, need to make it back to AZ by 12:30 next day to listen to Joshua speak in church, bust out Rockstar, have headache and down 2 Excedrins, now have huge stomachache from rockstar-excederin concoction, keel over in pain, still have headache, pull over and sleep in car for 3 hours, back on the road at 4am, finally home at 11 am, shower and try and rinse off liberal California grime, make it to church at 12:29 pm. Pretty sure that was one long sentence. Pretty sure we got a total of 30 hours of sleep over 6 days. Pretty sure we spent more than that just driving. You do the math! Now it's time for a stay-cation.

p.s. A Super-Ginormous thanks to Lisa and Rocky for letting us crash on their couch! Now it’s your turn to come and visit.

Coming soon to a blog near you:
"The Theme Park Diet" and "What Not to Wear"